Day 4 | Evening | Lower Command

[Ambrose Pantazis]

After the debriefing, Ambrose had taken a walk around the grounds to clear his mind and process everything. His mind kept circling back to the possible threat in their midst. Were the Vims in league with the cartel and its masters behind the scenes, had someone bribed them to feed lies back to Kaitan. Ambrose hadn't been there when Sinsei was poisoned, but why did the Tleilaxu target her when a soldier like Lanville was a more immediate threat?

Unable to put his worries aside, Ambrose decided to head to the infirmary and consult Dr. Yueh about Sinsei's condition. Was it possible a drug to temporarily disable a willing target could be disguised as having a more long term effect?

Before he could make it there, he ran into someone he'd been wanting to have a talk with for a few days now, but reality intervened. Ambrose changed his course to intercept the younger Lanville.

"Cor... Sergeant, if you have a moment."

[Efren Lanville]

Efren, just leaving the presence of Ambrose's suspected spy, stopped at hearing the greeting and nodded affirmatively, "Lieutenant, of course. What can I do for you, sir?"

[Ambrose Pantazis]

Ambrose almost looked around to greet and salute at hearing lieutenant, but resisted the urge.

"Ummm, at ease. I think we can do away with formalities. I've been meaning to set aside some time with you these last few days, but then... everything.

Before that though, I think some congratulations are in order. Not for the rank thing, although that was well deserved. But for what you accomplished out there. I heard you really showed up, took down that Tleilaxu, even saved Lady Gray up on a cliff."

[Efren Lanville]

He nodded at the invitation to speak openly.

He then shook his head politely, "I know it sounds droll or whatever... but I was just doing my duty. Nothing too special. If someone is falling off a cliff... Who wouldn't try to catch them? If the man who did all that evil was standing in front of anyone... Who wouldn't try and stop him? Fate put me there... I just did what anyone would do."

[Ambrose Pantazis]

"Of course, I'm sure you've already heard it a lot and you're going to hear it more, but it still bears saying.

Also, don't sell yourself short. First, not everyone would do those things. There was a lot of personal risks many wouldn't take. Even if they would, you did. Beyond that, you put yourself in a position to be the one to act and you've trained yourself to have the ability to act and succeed."

[Efren Lanville]

He nodded in appreciation, "I've been fortunate to have great teachers all my life. If someone should get the credit, it should be them for preparing me to do the things any of us should do."

He then turned the conversation to Ambrose, "You had to make some difficult decisions of your own. And the marauders are alive because of it. We didn't lose a single member of the team because of your actions."

[Ambrose Pantazis]

"Well, the Instructor and Storm were both left behind. I haven't seen hide nor hair of Storm, but I heard she got picked up. Perhaps if I'd been more diligent in my own training, I could've pulled them out with the rest, or set us up so we wouldn't have had to retreat.

Or maybe I could've been less judicious with my collateral damage.

How are the Muadh doing after the raid?"

[Efren Lanville]

"Ten of us were never going to clear out that entire base by ourselves. You did your part. The others did theirs... and we got the results we wanted." He replied.

"The Muadh are alive. And safer than they have been in quite some time. None of it is without complication... But they're tougher than they look. Just like the jungle. What burns to ash turns to nourish the roots."

[Ambrose Pantazis]

"That's true, mission accomplished."

Ambrose looked relieved that the Muadh were okay but also as the concept Efren put forward. The ashes of destruction bringing new life, nourishing regrowth. Hope even after loss.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the Muadh, the ones we found in the cave. The mission became more demanding after we got out of there. But I want to check in with you, and with Kiran when I see them."

[Efren Lanville]

The image of his cousin's face surfaced at the mention of the cave.

Efren nodded, "Yeah? What would you like to ask?"

[Ambrose Pantazis]

"It's not that I wanted to ask anything about the cave itself, more about how you're doing. How you're handling it?

That's a tough thing to witness. It's one thing in battle with soldiers, but civilians..."

[Efren Lanville]

"Huh... that's kind of you." He replied as he began to think of how to answer the question.

In truth... he pushed forward. His training as a soldier helped him to do so. To find solutions for the problems he was presented with. To take the emotions he felt and turn them into energy to do things.

"It was pretty shocking... Especially when I learned that one of the people we found in the cave was my cousin. And he grew up in my mother's home. It made me..."

He paused.

"It made me mad. Kind of filled me with a fire..."

He then continued after a second, "That fire helped me fight. And I think I'll carry it with me for a while."

[Ambrose Pantazis]

Ambrose looked on in concern while Efren spoke. "I know a lot about what you're saying. I've been there, I'm still there. I don't know how much you've heard about me and my brother, rumors from soldiers or locals or facts from your father. My brother died from an overdoes, Ailar. And it was my fault." He held up his hand to stop Efren, anticipating the usual response, "No, not figuratively, not because I didn't see what was happening. I'm the one that got him into the drugs. I thought I needed an edge, and then I had so much edge I needed something to dull it and he was right there next to me, following his big brother's lead. So it was my fault."

He took a deep breathe before continuing, "That fire burned in me and it burned me, but I wasn't brave enough or honest enough to take that all on myself, so I blamed the ones that made and sold the Ailar, the ones that poisoned it. It consumed me for so long and burned so hot I couldn't tell if it was there or not anymore. I just felt raw inside and out. Then your father has me pulled out of bed four days ago and gives me a chance to strike at the cartel. So I get my shit together and push it all down long enough to pass as a soldier. Now they're gone, and I don't know what that means for me. Maybe I'll know in another day or a week or a month from now. I'll tell you if and when something changes... But don't feed that fire, don't let it burn inside you."

[Efren Lanville]

Efren listened intently, his eyes locked on Ambrose, feeling the weight of his words. He took a moment before responding, allowing the gravity of Ambrose's confession to settle between them.

"Ambrose," Efren began, his voice steady but filled with empathy, "I can't pretend to fully grasp the pain you've been carrying or the weight of that guilt. But I hear you. And I appreciate your honesty. It's a hell of a thing to acknowledge the role you played, to take that responsibility on your shoulders. Not many would be brave enough to face that truth, let alone share it."

He paused, choosing his next words carefully. "I won’t tell you not to blame yourself—because it sounds like you’ve done more than enough of that already. But I will say this... what you did yesterday, by standing up and taking action against those who perpetuated that poison, that counts for something. You took a step, maybe not towards redemption, but towards something better. You gave yourself a chance to heal, even if that healing's gonna take time."

Efren shifted slightly, his expression softening. "I can’t promise that fire inside you will ever go out completely. But maybe, with time, it’ll burn a little less bright, a little less destructive. The blaze sometimes can also clear room for new things to grow in the jungle. You can let things grow again... build on the nutrients the past has passed down to you. And let people in to help cultivate the ground with you... If there’s anything I can do to help, anything at all, I’m here. You don’t have to carry it alone."

He offered a small, supportive nod. "And thank you for the advice. I’ll try to keep my fire in check. And if it ever gets too much, I’ll remember what you said. I’ll remember that I don’t have to let it consume me."

[Ambrose Pantazis]

Ambrose rubbed his chin with the back of his knuckles while Efren spoke, grimacing slightly. "You're a good guy Lanville. I shouldn't have projected my own issues on you. Hell, I shouldn't have even said all that to you." He took a deep breathe and closed his eyes and lowered his head while running his hand through his hair. When he opened his eyes, he looked less pained. "I don't regret it, I just didn't mean to trauma dump on you like that. I think I'm just..." Another deep breathe, "A lot's happened these last few days. A lot's changed. Even you seem changed, more confident. Or maybe you were just a bit off in the beginning from those manta-bird attacks. Part of my plan to pull you aside back in the jungle had been to tell you have some more confidence, to step forward and take the lead, especially with those mercs. I don't feel like you need that part of the talk anymore."

[Efren Lanville]

“If we don’t open up to our brothers-in-arms… Then who would understand us at all? We experienced something together… That bond’s special.” He said with a warm smile.

“A lot has changed… I do feel like I found myself out there. It was never easy being the bastard kid who didn’t know his heritage… I found out about myself. Got pushed to the brink… and came back changed.”

He smiled, “I think you’re changing too Ambrose. You were the first one to step up to that crazy ass mission tomorrow. No one had to rip you out of bed this time. You spoke with compassion and straighforwardness to the Duke’s son and Master Thufir. That says something.”

He placed his hand on Ambrose’s shoulder and gave an affirmative squeeze. “I’m honored to have you with me on that mission. No doubts.”

He then smiled and patted the other man on the shoulder, “Just lay off the incapacitated ecologist lady a bit. I promise she’s not gonna cause trouble in her coma.”

[Ambrose Pantazis]

"Well, I spoke out of turn back there. It was easy to forget myself after how he handled himself and us in the jungle. But now that we're back here, he's currently the Duke and we are his vassals... I do worry though, about what will happen on Lankiveil if we use those atomics."

He smiled fondly when Efren placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. That corners of that smile rose a bit too high at the mention of Sinsei, as though forcing his smile to remain and not reveal differing emotions trying to surface. There was also a fairly evident twinge in his cheek trying to reach his eye.

"There is something there I don't trust, something I can't bring myself to trust. There is too much we do not know of her and her father. What they were doing there in the Tleilaxu's back yard and why didn't we know of their presence? Then there's this suspicion from the Golden Lion Throne. It's all too convenient that they've found themselves in the midst of all these circumstances with no involvement of their own. Or is it more reasonable to believe they're the link between those aligning themselves against us and these unfounded suspicions from House Corrino? Then either it was decided they were a loose end that needed tying off or... how hard would it be for someone of Marek's talents to concoct a poison that would give the impression of an unending coma to sneak an assassin into a convenient location? Why would he target a scientist, as Sinsei has presented herself, instead of a soldier like yourself when confronted?" He left the question hanging there, looking expectantly at Efren.

[Efren Lanville]

Efren paused at the question, concern slightly rising in his heart for Ambrose’s levels of distrust for the Vims.

He tilted his head and answered, “Because she had a carbine aimed at him and was in the way of his escape to his plane?”